Dumb jokes

I used to hate facial hair but then it grew on me.

• What's the difference between a dirty bus stop and a lobster with breast implants? One is a crusty bus station and the other is a busty crustacean.
• How many tickles does it take to make an octopus laugh? Ten tickles.
• I used to be addicted to the hokey pokey but then I turned myself around.
• What's the most terrifying word in nuclear physics?"Oops!"
• I watched hockey before it was cool. They were basically swimming.
• There's no hole in your shoe? Then how'd you get your foot in it?
• A cowherd counted 48 cows on his property. But when he rounded them up, he had 50.
• When the two rabbit ears got married, it was a nice ceremony. But the reception was amazing.
• Why couldn't the bicycle stand up? Because it was too tired.
• A chicken coup only has two doors. If it had four, it would be a chicken sedan.
• Three fish are in a tank. One asks the others, "How do you drive this thing?"
• Why don't crabs donate? Because they're shellfish.
• What did Blackbird say when he turned eighty?"Aye, matey."
• How does your feline shop? By reading a catalogue.
• It's hard to teach kleptomaniacs humor. They take things so literally.
• Sunny-side up, scrambled, or an omelet? It doesn't matter. They're all eggcellent.
• Don't worry if you miss a gym session. Everything will work out.
• Ever tried to eat a clock? It's time-consuming.
• Who can jump higher than a house? Pretty much anyone. (Houses can't jump.)
• What do an apple and an orange have in common? Neither one can drive.
• Why did the businessman invest in Smith & Wollensky? He wanted to stake his claim.
• Five guys walk into a bar. You think one of them would've seen it.
• What do you call a door when it's not a door? Ajar.
• This sweet ride has four wheels and flies. It's a garbage truck.