Dumb jokes

I used to hate facial hair but then it grew on me.

• What's the difference between a dirty bus stop and a lobster with breast implants? One is a crusty bus station and the other is a busty crustacean.
• How many tickles does it take to make an octopus laugh? Ten tickles.
• I used to be addicted to the hokey pokey but then I turned myself around.
• What's the most terrifying word in nuclear physics?"Oops!"
• I watched hockey before it was cool. They were basically swimming.
• There's no hole in your shoe? Then how'd you get your foot in it?
• A cowherd counted 48 cows on his property. But when he rounded them up, he had 50.
• When the two rabbit ears got married, it was a nice ceremony. But the reception was amazing.
• Why couldn't the bicycle stand up? Because it was too tired.
• A chicken coup only has two doors. If it had four, it would be a chicken sedan.
• Three fish are in a tank. One asks the others, "How do you drive this thing?"
• Why don't crabs donate? Because they're shellfish.
• What did Blackbird say when he turned eighty?"Aye, matey."
• How does your feline shop? By reading a catalogue.
• It's hard to teach kleptomaniacs humor. They take things so literally.
• Sunny-side up, scrambled, or an omelet? It doesn't matter. They're all eggcellent.
• Don't worry if you miss a gym session. Everything will work out.
• Ever tried to eat a clock? It's time-consuming.
• Who can jump higher than a house? Pretty much anyone. (Houses can't jump.)
• What do an apple and an orange have in common? Neither one can drive.
• Why did the businessman invest in Smith & Wollensky? He wanted to stake his claim.
• Five guys walk into a bar. You think one of them would've seen it.
• What do you call a door when it's not a door? Ajar.
• This sweet ride has four wheels and flies. It's a garbage truck.

Stupid Jokes

I was sitting in traffic the other day.  Probably why I got run over.

• Sometimes I tuck my knees into my chest and lean forward. That's just how I roll.
• What's red and shaped like a bucket?A blue bucket painted red.
• What don't ants get sick? They have anty-bodies.
• What do you call a fish with no eye? Fssshh.
• Why do you smear peanut butter on the road? To go with the traffic jam.
• When is your door not actually a door? When it's actually ajar.
• My grandfather has the heart of a lion and a lifetime ban from the National Zoo.
• What's green and has wheels? Grass. I lied about the wheels.
• What's green, fuzzy, and would hurt if it fell on you out of a tree? A pool table.
• A communist joke isn't funny unless everyone gets it.
• What did one dish say to the other? Dinner is on me!
• What does a house wear? Address!
• Why can't you hear a Pterodactyl go to the bathroom? Because the pee is silent.
• Cosmetic surgery used to be such a taboo subject. Now you can talk about Botox and nobody raises an eyebrow.
• What do you call someone who immigrated to Sweden?Artificial Swedener.
• Have you heard the one about the corduroy pillow? It's making headlines.
• What do you call a man with no arms and no legs in a pool? Bob.
• What do you call a man who can't stand? Neil.
• What's the dumbest animal in the jungle? A polar bear!
• I'm thinking about removing my spine. I feel like it's only holding me back.
• Did you hear about the two thieves who stole a calendar? They each got six months.
• I'm terrified of elevators so I'm going to start taking steps to avoid them.
• Have you heard of the band 923 Megabytes? Probably not, they haven't had a gig yet.
• What do you call a psychic little person who has escaped from prison? A small medium at large.

I have a joke

I have a joke on Doctor's prescription but you can't read it

I have a joke on democracy but it's cracked already

•I have a joke on Youtubers but first subscribe & press the bell icon.

#ihaveajoke #IHaveAJokeOn

 

• I have a joke on Nepotism but will only tell it to my kids.
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  #IHaveAJokeOn Twitter, but its not verified.
  

  
  

  I have a CA joke. But wo abhi tak pass nahi ho paya

  
  

  
  
  
  
  

  
  

  
  
  
  

Viral memes 2021

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Twitter genuine 😂

 

Lame jokes 😂

 What do you call a hippie's wife? A Mississippi!

• What did the duck say when she bought a lipstick? Put it on my bill!
• I hate Russian dolls. They're so full of themselves.
• What do you call a man with a rubber toe? Roberto!
• Where did the computer go dancing? The disc-o!
• What do bees do if they need a ride? Wait at the buzz stop!
• What do you give to a sick lemon? Lemon aid!
• What did the little mountain say to the bigger mountain? Hi Cliff!
• What do you call a monkey that loves Doritos? A chipmunk!
• Why did the can crusher quit his job? Because it was soda pressing!
• Why are there gates around cemeteries? Because people are dying to get in!
• What do you call a cow with two legs? Lean beef!
• Do you remember that joke I told you about my spine? It was about a weak back!
• I just went to an emotional wedding. Even the cake was in tiers.
• When's the best time to go to the dentist? Tooth-hurtie!
• What do you call a dangerous sun shower? A rain of terror!
• Why do seagulls fly over the sea? Because if they flew over the bay, they've bagels!
• What do you call a farm that makes bad jokes? Corny!
• Why do fish live in salt water? Because pepper makes them sneeze!
• What streets to ghosts haunt? Dead ends!
• What do you tell actors to break a leg? Because every play has a cast!
• What kind of dogs love car racing? Lap dogs!
• What did Winnie the Pooh say to his agent? "Show me the honey!"
• What do you call birds who stick together? Vel-crows.
• Today I gave my dead batteries away. They were free of charge.

Funny Hindi shayari

•Zindagi Ki Rahon Mein Jab Koi Mod Aaye,

                                  Vah,

                                  Vah,
                              Irshaad,
                              Irshaad,

Zindagi Ki Rahon Mein Jab Koi Mod Aaye,

                              Toh Toh
                                  Toh
Give Indicator Blow Horn Aur Mud Jaaye.

.               *********************************

Chand Ne Chandni Ko Maari Line
Waah Waah
Toh Bhaiya Suno Dhyaan Se

Chand Ne Chandni Ko Maari Line
Chandni Boli I Am Fine,
I Am Fine
Waah Waah Waah Waah

********************** 

Phool Hun Gulaab Ka,
Chameli Ka Mat Samjhna.

Aashiq Hun Aapka,
Apni Saheli Ka Mat Samjhna.

*********************

Dost Ruthe To Rab Ruthe,
Fir Ruthe To Jag Chhute,
Agar Fir Ruthe Dil Tute,

Aur Agar Fir Ruthe…!!
Nikal Danda Maar Sale Ko Jab Tak Danda Na Tute

*****************

Wo Aaye Mere Dar Pe,
Khuda Ki Rahmat Hai,

Kabhi Hum Unko,
Kabhi Recycle Bin Ko Dekhte Hai

*****************

Devdas Ki Tarah Jaan Mat Do Yaaro
Pyar Ko Laat Maro Meri Baat Mano

Na Chandramukhi Na Paro
Roz Raat Ek Strong Beer Maaro Aur
Chain Se Zindagi Guzaro

****************

Ramchandra Keh Gaye Siya Se,
Aisa Kalyug Aayega,

Ek Dost Ek Taraf Se Sms Karega,
Doosra Apna Paisa Bachayega

***************

Gori Paan Na Khaya Karo,
Honton Pe Lali Aati Hai,

Gori Paan Na Khaya Karo,
Honton Pe Lali Aati Hai,

By God,
Tera Wazan Dekh Ke Meri Jaan Nikal Jaati Hai

**************

Kinna Sona Tenu Rab Ne Banaya
Wah Wah
Kinna Sona Tenu Rab Ne Banaya..

Wah Wah
........
Mene Tenu 20 Din Pehle ‘April Fool’ Banaya!

****************

Hansti Thi Hansaati Thi,
Dil Ko Bahut Bhati Thi,

Dekh Dekh Sharmati Thi,
Phir Andar Se Muskurati Thi,

Aaj Pata Chala Ke Woh,
Khud Toh Pagal Thi,
Mujhe Bhi Pagal Banati Thi

*****************

Lab Khamosh Ho Jate Hain,
Jab Tum Samne Aate Ho,

Dil Dhadkta Hain Jab Nigahe Milate Ho,
Saans Rukti Hai Jab Tum Muskurate Ho,

Dil Kamjor Hai Mera,
Itna Kyo Darate Ho

*****************

Bahut Din Ke Bad Keetab Ko Khola To Pata Chala,
......
.Yeh Bhi Nahin Aata,
Yeh Bhi Nahin Aata,
Yeh Bhi Nahin Aata,

Sala,
Yeh Bhi Nahin Aata

 

*****************

Khat Likhti Ho Gori Ya Likhti Ho Keetab,
Likhna Aata Nahin Likhti Ho Behisaab,

         

                         ***************

 

Maaf Karna Parmeshwar Yeh Bhool Hamari Hai,
Puchne Se Pata Chala Ke Woh Nirdhan Nari Hai.

                       ***************

The Most ‘Sharmnaak’ Thing These Days Is To
Say
...
That,
“I’M Not On Whatsapp”.

                   **********************

Mausam Ne Li Angrai,
Aur Humne Orhi Razai,

Ice-Cream Se Hui Larrai,
Moongphali Ghar Main Aai,

Cold Drink Se Muh Mor Liya,
Coffee Se Nata Jod Liya.
Happy Winter Season

                          **************

Jab Tum Aaine Ke Paas Jate Ho,
To Aayina Kehta Hai Beautiful Beautiful,

Jab Tum Aayine Se Door Jate Ho,
To Aayina Kehta Hai April Fool

                    *******************

Kya Hua Jo Usne Racha Li Mehndi,
Hamm Bhi Ab To Sehra Sajayenge,

Mujhe Pata Tha Wo Apne Naseeb Main Nahi Hai,
Ab Uski Chotti Bahen Ko Fasayenge.

                  *********************

Arz Hai.

Pink Lips Are The Girls Beauty,
Wah Wah

Pink Lips Are The Girls Beauty,
Wah Wah

And Kissing Them Is The Boys Duty.

   

                       ********************

Agar Pyaar Sath Ho To Tanhayi Nahi Hoti,
Sachche Pyar Mein Kabhi Bewafai Nahi Hoti,

Par Agar Ek Baar Pyaar Ho Jaaye,
To Kitne Hi Coaching center Join Kar Lo,
Par Padhai Nahi Hoti

                      *******************

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